Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
