Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My feet surprised me
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