we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
