I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
