So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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