i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
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I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
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I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle