Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore

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(251): View more from Alabama

i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.

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(224): View more from Illinois

his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.

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(518): View more from New York

i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(208): View more from Idaho

when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.

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(618): View more from Illinois

Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.

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(806): View more from Texas

I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.

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