Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl

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(669): View more from California

I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.

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(917): View more from New York City

He disabled his match.com account in front of me

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(905): View more from Toronto

the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(512): View more from Texas

Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.

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(619): View more from California

We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.

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(352): View more from Florida

I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.

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(317): View more from Indiana

It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG

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