Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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