You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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