There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
