she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.