You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
