He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You took a bar mat shot.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.