Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"