ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
