so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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