Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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