I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
