That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
