This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
