I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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