I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
