I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
