Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's blow job season.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
