Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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