someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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