What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You took a bar mat shot.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
