just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
