Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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