Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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