so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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