So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
