I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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