Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
