so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
