How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
