I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
