u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
