Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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