he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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