I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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