My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
