I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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