Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize