You made me cry and you don't even care
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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