I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
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we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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