you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
