Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
