Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
