the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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