You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
