I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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