oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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