you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
