I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I party with great urgency now.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize