i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
how do flat chested girls get laid?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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