I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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