I am in a vortex of obligation.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize