What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
