Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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