quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize