youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
the night ended with taco bell and tears
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
