Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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