Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize