Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
