it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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