I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
