She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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