Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize